Even the sky needs to let it all out sometimes.

This morning I woke up sad.  In my dream, which was quite realistic, given that it had to do with my plans for today, I'd offended my mom, and was really mad at me.  I was running late to meet my friends somewhere, and so she'd packed me an outfit ( because I said I'd need to change) and brought it to a mid-way point so I could get ready and meet my friends.  I looked in the bag and said "I can't wear this.  It's not an outfit."  And my mom responded with "It's good enough for me."  And I stormed off.   Maybe in my dream I was a little more materialistic then  in real life.  But the fight was like so many mom and I have.  I hate that we dont really understand each other.

This morning, I woke up disappointed.  The one day that I finally have a plan to be outdoors with my friends, to be active, to share the last few weeks of West Coast with Hannah, who's getting ready to move to Montreal just to be closer to me! (Or perhaps it may have to do with school...but I think I'm the real reason).  Anyway, after being sunny for a month, what does it have to do? The most West Coasty thing possible...rain.  Not sure if we're still going.  I'd be up for it.  But somehow the watermelon doesn't have quite the same appeal. 

This morning I woke up.  And despite my first thoughts, I am so blessed.  I've been struggling with work lately.  It's frustrating working hard, and not getting paid very much.  It's frustrating smiling while people treat you poorly.  It's frustrating being caught in the middle of work-place politics, feuds, and drama.  But this morning, out of the blue, Chris said hi to me on facebook.  We haven't had any sort of communication for months, and I can't even decide what I was feeling with the little convo window popped up.  But the simple question how's it goin was just what I needed.  It's going poorly.  I'm hating work.  I'm fighting with my family.  I'm not getting to do what i want to do with my friends. It's raining.  No, It's not.  I'm in my super comfy bed.  It's the beginning of the weekend.  The rain that we've been needing desperately has come.  I have a job.  I'm going to be able to  pay for school.  I'm going to be able to follow my dreams.  "I'm alright, you?"  And his response about working hard, being treated badly, and not getting paid much hit home.  And suddenly I had epiphany number more-than-I-can count.  How many times will I need to turn this light on before it sticks?  I am loved by a God who chose to become fully human, chose to work in the midst of people who would treat him poorly.  Chose to be crucified by people he came to save - and he took the nails for me.  I only have 7 more work days at the Salvation Army.  All my anger has been washed away, and I pray that I'll be able to hold on to a servant attitude, and work those last few days with the patience, love, and grace from the Spirit inside of me. 

The rain has stopped.  And I don't know what kind of day it's going to be.  But it's getting better by the minute.