Scissors aren't enough by themselves.

There are some pink candles, a blue, plastic table cloth and a clear vase of yellow chrysanthemums on my table.  The flowers don't smell very good, but they were lively and happy (and cheap, or I would not have chosen a flower that reminds me simultaneously of Gilmore Girls, Anne of Green Gables, and awful English Classes which may have forever ruined John Steinback for me.)  I brought them home over a week ago, by last night they were looking wilted and dull.  I love that all it takes is some scissors, sugar, and fresh water for flowers to  perk back up again.   

SCISSORS: 

I think that I've been struggling with just the scissors lately. Are scissors ever any fun by themselves? You need the glue to make a craft.  You need rock and paper to make a game.  You need hands for all of the above: and not just any hands - skilled hands that know what they are doing.

I've been the awkward five year old holding the scissors upside down in the wrong hand, trying to cut on scribbled lines, and crying when I fail, but then, in a determined fit of frustration, picking them back up and starting again.   

SUGAR: 

I need the sugar: sweet things that make me smile.  Here's a few to remind myself of...

1. I'm not sure how this occurred, given that I may be the Queen of hitting the Snooze button (ask any of my roommates), but it seems that the earlier I wake up, the happier I am.  I love having time in the morning to sit in the relative quiet of my apartment, and experience the morning.  I love being up before car engines, brakes,  horns, sirens, garbage trucks, delivery trucks, shopping carts and construction overpower the wind, rain, and birds.  I am so much happier when I sit by myself, spend time with God, eat breakfast, and get on with my day before 7 in the morning. 

2. I love having a clean, organized house. Yesterday Amber and I spent the afternoon cleaning, and it was so nice to wake up this morning to a clean bedroom, a clean closet, a clean office, a clean bathroom, a clean table, a clean living room, and a clean kitchen. 

3. Cooking makes me happy.  Cooking for other people makes me happier, but cooking for myself is pretty satisfying too. Baking is my comfort activity, but cooking...cooking creates happiness.  I love cutting fresh garlic, soft mushrooms, vibrant red or orange peppers, deep green herbs or spinach, and purple onions or cabbage with my sharp  knife on my large wooden cutting board.  (Go ahead and laugh, but it's true!) This weekend I made homemade whole-wheat ravioli stuffed with spinach, fresh herbs and three types of cheese, served with pesto and tomato sauce.  I successfully made some beautiful loaves of French bread.  And of course, I made cookies, and numerous other delicious meals.    

I also for the first time in my life understood my mother's desire for a lower counter.  One major difference between my mother and I...she plans a kitchen with a low island.  I slip on a pair of high heeled shoes, and continue on, contemplating how much more useful this makes my shoes, and whether all those images of women in dresses, aprons, curly hair, pearls, and high heeled shoes was really just about fashion.  I had lots of time to contemplate this as I rolled my pasta and kneaded the bread dough.  I intend to cook in heels more often.  They make me look infinitely cooler, and make cooking easier.   I can picture myself later in life, in a colourful kitchen making something fabulous, sipping red wine,  and wearing an apron and some spectacular shoes. 

The colour of creamed butter, and the smell of cookie dough while mixing in soft brown sugar, vanilla and eggs...happy.

The feel of dough: bread, pasta, or cookie in my hands...happy!

Sneaking samples and slurping them, steaming, off a spoon...smiles! 

Peanut butter in vanilla icecream...try it.  So good!

Fresh basil.  Aaaahhh!

Tuna Casserole (although I still can't make it like Grandma Emery does...) -food for the soul.

Ok.  Enough about food.

(but did I mention the omelette I made for breakfast today?)

4.  Being outside in the sun, by a river, hearing no unnatural sounds.  Being outside in heavy, heavy rain getting soaked completely.  The smell of fresh air, and blooming flowers, and cut grass, and water. The peace of the wind.  The relief of the rain.  The intensity of colour on a sunny day.  Birds, squirrels, fish, turtles, laughing kids.  Puddles, soft green grass, buzzing bees, lightening, stars, clouds, sunrise, sunset...I am awed and so uplifted by nature.

5.  Art: felts, pencils, paint, fabric, glue (scissors), photography...

     Music: listening, making, praising.

6.  Sir Fredrick, our creepy plastic owl, who so far seems to be keeping the pigeons off of our deck.

7.  Being ridiculous with my friends...looking at photos... and laughing beyond the point of crying...to the extent of exhaustion and a headache. 

FRESH WATER: I need to be renewed by God.  And I know that through whatever is going on inside of me, he his so, so with me.  His arms are around me.  His heart is for me.  His spirit is in me.  His wings shelter me. 

SCISSORS (Part TWO)It's time for me to give the scissors to God.  I am his workmanship - and he is contstantly pruning and working in my heart.  Right now, it's a painful process.  But I've seen his work in my life - and I know that he has good plans, and makes beautiful things.  

Three Links...

1.  Jon Foreman - White as Snow.  I was singing this song while writing.

2.  The Skit Guys: God's Chisel...this is where God lead me where looking for a video to show for the GYG last week.  

3.  Gungor - Beautiful things.  I was singing this one too. 

I'll be more lively soon.